Self-Compassion and ADHD: Simple Tips for Real Life

Written under the supervision of a licensed LPC-Supervisor, this content is educational and reflective in nature and is not clinical advice.

Why can time management be challenging when you have ADHD? 

ADHD can make time management difficult because it impacts executive functioning, the set of skills our brain uses to plan, organize, prioritize, and follow through on tasks. Differences in brain structure, function, and chemistry mean that traditional time management strategies don’t always work. Learning to work with your brain rather than against it can make a big difference in managing time, staying on track, and reducing frustration.

• Tasks Initiation: ADHD brains may have a hard time starting, especially for tasks that they don’t find exciting or interesting. Sometimes simply beginning a task can feel like the hardest part.

• Motivation: ADHD brains are often motivated by different things than neurotypical brains. You may crave instant dopamine, so tasks that aren’t interesting or rewarding may be harder to complete. 

• Hyperfocus: Sometimes, ADHD brains can enter periods of intense focus, making it hard to switch tasks or step away, even when you might need to.

• Time Blindness: ADHD brains can struggle to know how long it’ll take to complete a task or how much time has passed, often making time management and deadlines challenging.

• Procrastination: Challenges with executive functioning can feel frustrating, making way for self-criticism to join the party, which has the opposite effect on motivation and getting tasks done. As a result, procrastination may feel like the easier choice. 

When things fall apart, it can feel hard to make new plans and routines, especially if what you have tried to manage your ADHD isn’t working. ADHD management requires being patient with your mistakes, acknowledging and accepting your strengths and weaknesses, identifying a plan for what might help you, and moving forward. 

What can you do to make it easier for you to manage your time when you have ADHD? Try these tips and see if they make a difference for you! 

1. Visual Timers: One thing to help you manage your time is to try to visually keep track of your time. Some displays even have the amount of time left so it is easier to keep track. There are also a few free online resources that can help you stick to an ADHD friendly work session split into focused work time and short breaks. The “Focus Keeper- Pomodoro Timer” is one of my favorites because you can customize the sessions of focused work time and short breaks to your needs, it is free to use, and accessible for mobile devices and desktops. Setting timers for yourself can help with time-blindness so you can get a better understanding of how long certain tasks might take you and you can set your time accordingly.

2. Co-Working: Find someone who you can get work done with, and whose presence holds you accountable for staying on task. 

3. Create a Routine: Set time blocks to help with time perception and build in extra time if you need longer breaks or are anticipating certain tasks to take longer.

4. Limit Screen Time: It’s way too easy to get distracted by apps and social media, with endless scrolling and content designed to literally hijack our focus. Try your best to limit how much time you spend on certain apps, and maybe throw in different activities to engage with during breaks (listen to a podcast, draw, meditate, get some fresh air). 

5. Write things Down: Write things down that you need to remember, maybe even using sticky notes to write down tasks you want to prioritize that day. If you prefer having tasks on a mobile device, type things you need to get done in notes, and/or set alerts for when you plan to get tasks done and follow through. Create “DO” dates for days and times when you are doing the task, and “DUE” dates for when the task is to be completed/ finished to hold yourself accountable and spread out tasks into smaller chunks that feel more manageable. 

6. Reward Yourself: When you do well (try a new skill, complete a big task) tell yourself you can do something fun after to reward yourself and follow through! Keep the positive reinforcement going! 

7. Be Kind to Yourself: Practice self-compassion and celebrate that you are trying your best to improve! 

Managing ADHD can be frustrating and draining when we don’t have self-compassion. Read this section if you need a little support being kind to yourself and/or staying motivated on your ADHD journey! 

Self-Compassion doesn’t manage ADHD, but coupled with a plan for how to approach it can make a huge difference. Let's talk about why developing self-compassion could make a difference for you and your busy brain.

Self-compassion is being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or falling into the habit of self-criticism. Perfectionism and self-criticism are falsely linked to motivation, and commonly lead to giving up when we make mistakes and emotional burnout. Self-compassion isn’t about not wanting to grow and that you have no room for improvement, but it is about wanting to become a kind and supportive “friend” to yourself who can help you reach your goals. With self compassion motivation improves, failure is welcomed and redirected, and you could have more resilience in moving forward. 

Developing self-compassion can feel empowering because you create it and you get to define it. Unlike self-esteem, which often depends on external validation like performance, hierarchy, or grades, self-compassion is an internal resource. It’s steadier, more grounded, and fully within your control.

When we practice self-compassion, we stay realistic, acknowledge areas for growth, and treat ourselves with greater kindness. Over time, this nurtures resilience, as we begin to recognize our own strengths and skills from the inside out. Putting self-compassion into action supports us in moving through challenges and following through on the things that matter to us.

How do I cultivate more self-compassion towards my ADHD? 

1. Nonjudgemental awareness: Seeing and living your life exactly as it is, creates a beautiful opportunity to hold gentle space for your experience without trying to change it. The first step towards more self-compassion can look like recognizing the effect of ADHD on your executive functioning without judgement. For example: “I know what I need to get done, and it feels really hard for me to get started on any of it.” 

2. Compassion: Practicing compassion can be as simple as asking yourself: how might I help a friend who is struggling to manage their ADHD? What are some steps that you might suggest they take next to make it better? You can apply the same approach to yourself: notice what you need, brainstorm small actions, and take the next step (organizing a task, taking a mindful pause, or seeking support) without judgment. Compassion is about being gentle, realistic, and proactive at the same time.

3. Practice: Picture a situation in your life where you are struggling, and with each in-breath acknowledge what that feels like (“I feel frustrated and ashamed that I can’t seem to feel motivated enough to start this book for school. Everyone has times when they feel like this.”), and with each out-breath, focus on what you might say to a friend, but instead say it to yourself, “May I be patient with myself and take one small step by setting a 5-minute timer to read a couple pages of the book tonight before bed.”

4. Remember Your Strengths: Everyone’s strengths with ADHD are unique, so here are just a few ideas that might resonate with you, or help you start identifying your own strengths. Many ADHD brains can make unique connections between ideas, leading to creative problem-solving and outside-the-box thinking. Many with ADHD are naturally curious and willing to explore new ideas, take calculated risks, and embrace novel experiences.

5. Start Small: Reading through these tips might have felt a little overwhelming, and that’s okay. Trust yourself. Even if all you did was read a couple of tips or write down a single strength you have, that is already more than enough. Small steps still count, and they matter.

   
   

Here’s to small wins and being kind to yourself,

Ginger 💛

References

Crown Creatives Virtual Services. (n.d.). 8 ADHD time management hacks that actually work. Hope + Wellness. https://www.hope-wellness.com/blog/8-adhd-time-management-hacks-that-actually-work

Rubia, K. (2018). Cognitive neuroscience of ADHD and its clinical translation. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 12, 100. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2018.00100

Children & Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. (n.d.). ADHD tools for adults. ADD. https://add.org/adhd-tools-for-adults

Neff, K. (n.d.). The three components of self-compassion. https://self-compassion.org/what-is-self-compassion/

Bertin, M. (n.d.). Loving-kindness (compassion) meditation & guided practices. Mindful. http://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-meditation-guided-practices

Bertin, M. (2017). ADHD and self-compassion. CHADD. https://chadd.org/attention-article/adhd-and-self-compassion/